I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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