I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
