he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
