Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We have started to decorate penises.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Holy shit dude........stairs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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