when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
