Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
