Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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