Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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