I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
