worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think your dad took our porno
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
