Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
