well I can't set my house on fire every night
its not stalking. its research.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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