party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
