Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
