i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
