The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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