How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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