i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
