I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
