He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
