i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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