I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
