North Korea, Best Korea!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
