The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
