So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
