so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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