why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
