Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
