and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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