Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
