Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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