you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
bring money and cleavage
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
