so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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