Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
