Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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