it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?