I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
