I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
