threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
