i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This house was built for laser tag.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
