it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
