Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
