Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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