I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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