Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
