a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
