So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
