who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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