girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
