we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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