Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
