4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
