it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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