Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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