there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
