he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
