Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
