Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize