note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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