I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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