She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
